Oblivion Tops Hot Coffee

22 Apr , 2006  

Everyone has heard of the Hot Coffee controversy courtesy of a modification to Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas that allowed you to have “sex” with a pixilated nude woman in the game. It was retarded, as Maddox pointed out, because it is a freaking game where you run around and steal cars and shoot police. To claim that the worst part of the game is the terrible sex scene really says quite a few things about the American value system.

Thankfully, a nerdy role-playing game called Elder Scrolls: Oblivion has outdone the stupid Hot Coffee crap. In a nod to realistic gameplay, the designers have left in skins and models for females that include *gasp* breasts. The default game covers *gasp* breasts with a default bra or whatever that thing is that covers them. So what do you think one of the first mods released is? Of course, the topless mod!

The caveat? Well kids were complaining they cant see their electronic breasts immediately after loading their modification. See, the women still have clothes on as they walk around the game world. Anger ensues. Anger leads to violence. The best way to get to see the boobies is to murder a woman character and strip her of clothes. Oh the humanity! That’s right, in this game you have to find a woman, kill her, and then strip her of all clothes just to see her naked. Now all you “games lead to real life violence” people can start crying about it. Yes, your kids are ritualistically killing women in a video game to see their naked corpses. Sounds pleasant?

I am certainly laughing. I will be keeping count of how many nerds go crazy and start killing women to see them naked in the real world after playing Oblivion. In the meantime let me continue my nude killing spree.

2 responses to “Oblivion Tops Hot Coffee”

  1. Elliott Back says:

    Oblivion Nude: Elder Scrolls goes Mature (M)…

    Please note that this post contains pictures of trivial female upper body nudity
    You remember the GTA sex scandal where a mini-game could be unlocked that simulated sex between the main character and nude females in the game. For that, Hillary Clinton…

  2. […] I really do not understand the issue here. He does not even mention what I have already pointed out the most shocking aspect of this mod. How does plain nudity offend anyone, *unless* they are retarded prudish idiots? Maybe someone needs to talk to Jack about how babies are made. […]

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