This man has obviously never been laid

Our favorite asshole lawyer, Jack Thompson, has discovered *gasp* that people are actually naked under their clothes. This revelation came when Jack discovered that the game Oblivion accurately rendered women nude under their shirts.

Like most Republican prudes, Jack has never seen a naked woman and believes that people come from storks, at the ordering of God. He was also dropped on his head as a child.

I really do not understand the issue here. He does not even mention what I have already pointed out the most shocking aspect of this mod. How does plain nudity offend anyone, *unless* they are retarded prudish idiots? Maybe someone needs to talk to Jack about how babies are made.

In a game where you have missions to murder people and can kill people with swords and magic at will, the one thing the media and zealots pull out is a couple breasts. My solution? Get laid. I swear how messed up is this country? Isn’t this fairly analogous to art? What’s next, a condemnation of naked Barbie dolls? Perhaps you should rate them mature. People are naked, this is a fact. People have sex, this is a fact. There is no choice in the matter either, both of these things have to happen to continue living as a species. What does not have to happen is senseless violence. The fact that in American culture the thing that is natural is taboo and the thing that is not is totally integrated into our culture is just plain sad.

Don’t cry Kobe, you Vindictive Bastard

Kobe Bryant likes to prove his points in the playoffs, and he does not care if it means that the team goes home for the summer. He is the most vindictive bastard in the NBA and will make his team suffer because he feels slighted by the press. Tonight Kobe took only 3 shots in the entire second half and only scored 1 point off a technical shot. What an ass. I am only mad because I was forced to pick him in my playoff fantasy game and I thought he would fire away because with the Suns finally reaching their normal tempo, the Lakers pretty much had little chance playing an uptempo game.

We have seen it before. The Lakers take a loss when Shaq and Kobe are on the same team, a loss where Kobe takes a bunch of shots, and the media criticizes him. The next game Kobe comes in and takes not only less shots, but so few it leaves everyone scratching their head. There are only a couple explanations for this.

1. Kobe was taken out by defense - This is the most improbable. Kobe himself recognizes he can get any shot he wants, he has said so. We all know he can.
2. Kobe was told by Phil Jackson to not take shots or he thought his team had a better chance to come back by passing off - No, again not likely. Phil Jackson has no problem with Kobe taking shots. Down by 15 at the half and watching it go up to 25 by the 4th should be a good reason to start taking the ball .. if nothing else to throw the crowd off.
3. Kobe was criticized for taking too many shots in Game 6, he “shows them” that they need him more than he needs them - Vindictive bastard raise your hand. I guess he made his point. You want me to take no shots? We lose by 30+.

Point taken Kobe. Thank you. Go home.